And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
We got so high we made milksteak
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
