Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
