Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
