fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
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