you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
