In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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