Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
