Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
