It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.