Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Randomize
