Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
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I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
How many fucks given?
0.12846
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I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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