I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
