i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
