Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
