i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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