Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Randomize
