Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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