So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Randomize
