So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
