Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize
