You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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