He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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