I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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