you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
