5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
