I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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