he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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