Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I would fuck him just for his dog
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
