I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
