I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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