I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
