if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Randomize
