So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize
