If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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