I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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