it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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