I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
