Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
