Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
