so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
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