i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
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I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
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I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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