Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
