I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
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I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
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Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
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