I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
