Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
