Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Randomize
