I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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