At least make sure they are 18
Why
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
