just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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