Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Randomize
