ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
