He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
