I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
