Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
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