I like my sex mixed with concussions.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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