And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Randomize
