I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
