I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Randomize
