Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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