Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Randomize
