he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize