Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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