i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
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