So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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