I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
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