guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize