I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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