My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
