I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
