Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
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