My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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